BROKEN HEARTED 2 - REVENGE OF THE RS AND R PRIME

I have no idea what these terms mean. However, it is because of irregularities related to these found in my electrocardiogram that there is concern. I really thought that the results of the initial ECG done during my routine check up were due to human error, this being reinforced by a clean ECHO done shortly thereafter. Plus, I am not displaying any symptoms that are commonly associated with someone who has similar ECG outputs. Being a person who likes to tie up loose ends, I was more than happy to meet one last time with the cardiologist. My initial appointment with her had to be rescheduled to accommodate a medical student who was shadowing her, further indicating to me that this meeting was simple and routine. So, I wasn't too agitated when the student showed up to the clinic late (and thereby delaying my appointment) nor was I too concerned that this 4th year U of T student used way too many "like..."'s in her sentences or apologized ahead of time if she missed something ("because it's been known to happen!"). Another ECG was done and the results would be used as a starting point for discussion between the cardiologist and the student.

Of course, I didn't mind that an ad hoc lecture on interpreting ECG's was happening right in front of me. It was neat, actually, to see the cardiologist put the student on the spot: "So, if such and such happens, what could that mean? Then, how would you go about asking the patient to verify this?" and so on and so on. My intrigue turned to concern when I heard: "Well, this ECG is definitely abnormal (student continuing to nod her head in agreement) as the RS and R Prime are much too high (or something to that effect). And what can sometimes happen if this is the case? (student finally pipes in "sudden death?!") Correct!..." Finally, the cardiologist turns to me and says the only way that they can tell for sure is if I do a cardiac MRI. She also wants to strap a heart rate monitor on me to see if there are any weird rhythmic issues. I vaguely recall thinking to myself that if I were to die, I guess doing so suddenly would be the best way. And so, the saga of the broken heart continues...

I had to do a lot of breathing today. A lot of breathing in deeply, exhaling slowly, holding my breath. All so the doctor (and doctor to be) could hear my heart better. I guess breathing is something you take for granted - let's face it, I've not missed a breath for 31 years. This reminded me of a prayer that was recited at the most recent Habitat Faith Relations meeting I attended:

The Breathe of God in Us
Father, as we gather today, we ask for your blessing. We come together to celebrate our call to bring your love to all people. In doing your work, though, we encounter obstacles and setbacks. It is at times such as these we need your support and that of your community. Let us be reassured of that support, Lord, that we may continue with enthusiasm and confidence, for in brining your work to the world we find the joy of your kingdom.

Today let us breathe deeply the breath of God in us, for through us God inhales the fantasies of children, the experiences of yesterday and the hopes of tomorrow.
Let us rejoice over this breath in us lest God wonder whether his world has grown too old and his people too despairing to celebrate.
Let us spin him our dream.
That someday soon all people will celebrate life everyday.
That someday soon all people will know they are beautiful in black and red and white.
That someday we will glimpse the face of God in our students, patients, co-workers and clients.
Someday soon we will airlift food to starving people.
Someday soon we will grow wheat in deserts and flowers in garbage cans.
Soon we will turn our tired old cathedrals into cafeterias for the poor...and the rich.
Soon we will sink our teeth and our talents into the politics of peace and justice.
Someday soon we will light our homes with the sun and lighten our hearts with love.
Someday soon "we will live more simply, so that others may simply live."
Someday soon we will turn our guns into large tubes of finger paint.

I have to carry this in my wallet so that if I ever need to go to the hospital, I can let them know that I inherently have an abnormal ECG!