EVANGELISM - A SCARY WORD

I was skeptical, even disappointed, when I learned that The Meeting House was going to cover a series on evangelism. I was raised in a church where one’s spiritual worthiness was based on, albeit not overtly but certainly implied, “kingdom works”. I think that through this I have developed a deep guilt complex, as I never was one of those All Star Christians who would be able to successfully persuade people to “accept Christ”. I was never good at arguing theology or debating with Scriptures and often dreaded it, heaven forbid, when such opportunities came up. I think I dreaded even more the thought of having to face God one day and have Him ask me how many I’ve converted, when I would hang my head sheepishly and admit that I converted not a one.

Over the past 2 years, I’ve been blessed to be part of a spiritual community (The Meeting House, my Thursday night small group) that has shown me that “kingdom works” is acting in practical ways to help heal the world. The guilt I now feel is realizing how arrogant I was to think I was somehow better than those who didn’t share the same label that I gave myself (or a label that my upbringing had convinced me that I). This arrogance prevented me from seeing how the world hurts, how people are exploited and marginalized, and how easy it is for me to pervert theology to justify the way I seek temporary creature comforts. Evangelism suddenly tasted sour, at least in the form that I’ve grown up knowing. Good news for many people in the world is being able to have a next meal or a safe roof over their heads, things that I take for granted. I guess it makes it even more disheartening for me when I see how the church bickers with one another, how some use it to further their political aspirations and how insensitive this “family” can be to those they perceive threaten their status quo.

I was recently questioned (more like aggressively challenged) on why I considered my trip to New Zealand a “missions” trip, since the primary objective was not evangelism (in the sense of converting people to Christianity). I was surprised by how I reacted which was with fierce anger. But, before I could do or say something that I might have regretted, I suddenly realized that this person was me 4 or more years ago. I was that person who went to Austria in 1992 for 3 weeks so that I could help convert refugees fleeing their war-torn homes in Yugoslavia. I was that person who was so heavily involved in church, running programs and activities that seemed altruistic on the surface but were really a mask for an ulterior motive (whether I knew it or not). Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that I really sucked at converting people because it wouldn’t have been a real transformation. And this is exactly what stuck out to me about this most recent message at The Meeting House.

It's not about a one time conquest in someone's life, like you're trying to get someone to cross THE LINE. It's an ongoing dialogue, a conversation that you have in relationship. Although Paul was probably very distraught that a whole city was involved in pagan worship, it's interesting to see how he reacted. He had a dialogue with them, not an argument. He quoted their scholars, referred to their mythology and basically showed that he cared about their culture, their traditions, their passions. Once he established this common ground, he merely pointed out certain understanding that he had of his own faith and left it at that. If it truly was meant to be a mission of conquest, why would it indicated that he "failed"? This was really refreshing for me, particularly when I was least expecting it.

I wonder if people get mad when a FREE service doesn't work as it should. I had typed out most of this entry when I went to save it, only to be told that Blogger was experiencing server issues and that my entry was not saved and lost. It's understandable that the initial reaction is frustration or anger. All that time WASTED! But then again, this IS a free service. It fascinates me how the sense of entitlement can be such a strong, blinding force. Is this sense acquired or is it part of the human nature?

Thanks to Anna and Sam for these awesome gifts! A TITANIUM SPORK (that's right, it's both a spoon and a fork) and the COLLAPSABLE CHOPSTICKS (ala pool cue) that comes with its own carrying pouch! We have just graduated from "tea time with Timmy" (a ritual that Sam and I shared at Canon Mountain in New Hampshire last year) to "dim sum in the glades"! Oh, how jealous my camping friends are going to be!