COVENANT

They are going to strap a heart rate monitor to me this week that I have to wear for 48 hours, to see if there is any arrhythmia of my heart (a precautionary step). My cardiac MRI happens right after that. With all this happening, I could be stressed, but I'd rather not worry about anything until I know for sure. But, speaking of physical exams, it reminds me of a story I once heard. This old man went to the doctor for a physical exam. When the doc was through, the old man said "What about my sperm count?" "Sperm count?", said the doc, "You're 85 years old!" The old man said, "I paid for a complete physical and I want it". So the doctor gave him a little bottle and told him to go home and do his thing in the bottle and return it. Two weeks later the old guy came back holding an empty bottle! "What happened?", asked the doctor. The old man said "I tried it with my left hand, I tried it with my right hand and I even got my wife to take out her teeth. And I still can't get the top off this damn bottle!"

The idea of covenant is something that's been on my mind lately. On more than one occasion, while overseas, I was treated to the sight of full-arching rainbows. I'm used to seeing partial rainbows, typically faint in colour. But seeing one in which all the colours are clearly visible (I've never seen purple in a rainbow before!), and which was often encircled by a second or third, fainter ring, blew me away! The first thought that came to mind was the idea of covenant (as in the covenant between God and Noah after the flood as shown in the form of a rainbow), a commitment made between 2 parties in the spirit of trust and partnership. This concept seems to be a foreign one today, especially in a society where all agreements seem to exist in the form of contracts and legal recourse IN CASE one party doesn't fulfill their commitment. Too often, we are so worried about covering our asses that the idea of partnership and community in commitment is overlooked.

A couple of close friends of mine were recently married and I was asked to be part of the bridal party. They understand the concept of covenant and that the wedding day should be less about theatrics, but more about the gathering of community to witness and support the beginning of a sacred journey of commitment. There was a moment during the service when, as the vows were being exchanged, the minister's wireless mic cut out. The audio engineer part of me immediately became on edge, worried about how the sudden absence of sound reinforcement might disrupt the flow of the service. Then it hit me. How amazingly fortunate it was for me, to be standing mere steps from something so precious that was happening at that exact moment, a moment which would never, ever happen again. I was touched by the purity of that moment where covenant was being made and I, part of a privileged few, was witnessing it in its most intimate form.

It is because of covenant (one I made on June 30, 2001) that I find myself in such a trying stage in my life. It is arguable that commitments made when the right mindset is absent should make the commitment void or illegitimate. Yet, when I had recited my vows, I meant it. How can I now turn my back on this covenant, despite being justified in so many ways to do so? It strikes at the very sense of integrity that I feel defines who I am and how I view community/relationship/partnership. And now, Katherine has actually made the bold statement that SHE WANTS TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP. Meaning that she is willing to commit to it, something that she has not experienced before, ever. I should be elated, relieved that after waiting for 4 years, the outcome for which I had hoped for has arrived. Yet, I am not. I seem to have accumulated four years worth of emotional baggage that is skewing my perspectives towards this marriage. I am still willing to make this relationship work, but not under the auspices of the original covenant. I believe that the old covenant needs to be "crucified" and a new one created - therefore no grandfathering. Part of this process requires that I heal, to purge the emotional baggage that is keeping me from loving her. I am feeling more strongly that relocating is an important part of this exercise, a chance to properly grieve and to properly heal. Only then, can a healthy, loving, constructive relationship exist, one that honours God. And so, as I wait to hear back from prospective work out West, I continue to reflect.

The first time I've ever seen the marriage ceremony referred to as a "Covenant Ceremony". Very cool.










A thank you gift from the Bride and Groom. I especially appreciate how thoughtful this gesture is, that it is helping to support a microenterprise in Beijing. This is consistent with their ethos, as they chose, as bombonieres for each of the guests in attendance, to make a donation to a literacy foundation.










We celebrated the groom-to-be's late night of bachelorhood at The Academy of Spherical Arts (www.sphericalarts.com) Rather than going for the table d'hote, we decided to order the ENTIRE Tapas (hors d'oeuvres) menu. I'm sure the kitchen staff was not amused, but they did an awesome job and ensured that all the food (which was an amazing variety of East Asian, South Asian, Italian, French and English delights) came out all at once. A bottle of Alsace Pinot Blanc and a Bordeaux red capped it off nicely! Of course, being surrounded by engineers (U of T Engineering Science grads, nonetheless) necessitated the formation of this 20 plate spread in a 5 by 4 matrix!!













Found on one of the inside covers of the wedding program, this symbolizes the Bride and Groom's heritage and outlook on marriage.