MORE REFLECTIONS AND PURGING

Well, another week has passed and it really feels like I've been here for much longer than 2 weeks. In order for our business unit to hit its bonus target, it must fulfill certain safety requirements. This can be measured in the number of hours lost due to accidents or injuries. However, for a group who spends most of its time inside an office, there needs to be a different metric, namely making sure that there are a proportional number of employees who have basic first aid training. Being the newest peon to join the group, I was elected to attend two days worth of first aid training. From this course, I'm reminded of how fragile the human body is and how easy it is for life threatening injuries to happen. I don't know if it's because I haven't been around the topic recently, but I found the constant discussion of trauma and the viewing of graphic videos (for the purpose of learning how to react WHEN these traumatic things happen) very unsettling. This is odd considering I come from a life sciences background and one of my favorite places at Queen's was 9th floor Botterell (the cadaver lab). Particularly on the topic of amputations, I found myself so grossed out that I couldn't even hold my pen. I guess the thought of losing a finger or another extremity freaks me out. Other topics were better, espcially the ones that I can relate to. We talked about concussions and I immediately thought back to the 2 that I had when I was younger, one when I slammed my head on the gym floor after diving for a volleyball and the other when I slammed my head against the ground while playing in the annual MCBC Tackle Football match. I remember the time I ended up in the hospital because I took a shuttlecock in the eye and how both of my eyes were patched up (to protect the injured eye, which, by the way, is now NOT the prescribed remedy). We also talked about heat cramps, which is something that I realized (as a result of another discussion) had happened to me very recently.

Canadian International Marathon 2005
Memories of nearly drowning in Lake Ontario are still fresh on my mind. Aside from this, the disappointment of not finishing the triathlon in July still stings. Thus, running in the Canadian International Marathon had multiple purposes. I haven't run a full marathon since 1996, after returning from a summer of tree planting and somehow acquiring a Kamikaze mentality that I could conquer any physical challenge. That first attempt took me almost 4.5 hours and I remember not being able to walk properly for more than a week. I felt that it was time for me to revisit this challenge. I've trained pretty intensely since returning from New Zealand, focusing on a regiment that included interval training, hills and long runs that exceeded 21 km. I felt that I was mentally prepared for this, and in many ways, I felt like I needed to use this event to help heal the scars from the attempted triathlon. I set a personal goal of 3.5 hours (which is still 20 minutes slower than a Boston Marathon qualification!). I felt like I could achieve it. Sunday October 12 actually started at C&J's condo where I parked prior to the start of the race. I was able to use their gym to stretch and warm up, which was a real blessing, because that morning was dreary and threatened rain. Being just a couple of blocks away from the start line, I got to the line 5 minutes before the start. Unlike other races that I've been in, I didn't have to wait the typical "walk-because-it's-so-crowded" delay before breaking into a decent tempo. I made it to the half way point feeling pretty good: I finished 21 km in 1:45, right on track to hit my goal. The route took me to the famous Casa Loma, where I recalled the first time that I had met Clinton, as both of us ended up there waiting while Wendy and Nap took their wedding pictures there with the bridal party. While being nostalgic, it hit me: my first cramp. It was a stomach one, the famous "stitch". I adjusted my breathing to help get rid of it, but then I started noticing my quads acting up. When I hit the 29 km mark, they just locked up, on both sides of the body, along with my calves. I just about keeled over when it happened, almost taking out another running who was beside me. I have never felt a cramp so intense before! I felt frustration more than pained as, no matter how hard I tried rubbing the muscles, they just wouldn't unlock! I was completely immobilized. A course marshal rode over on her bike and offered me Motrin. Eventually, I was able to hobble a bit, then walk a bit, then break out into a slow jog. Anything faster would cause my legs to "lock up" again. Thus, I finished the rest of this race at this pace, crossing the finish line at 4:08.

Interestingly enough, the one soothing mantra I kept throughout the race was "DON'T FEAR THE WALL". The "wall" is the point during a full marathon where the runner becomes hypoglycemic and the increasing build up of lactic acid in the muscles make your legs feel like bricks. The pain is unbearable and your body begs you to stop. It's a major mental exercise because once you stop, you find so many ways to convince yourself not to start again. I foolishly thought that tree-planting (having to rough it in back country for 2 months, doing hard piece work labour) was tough, but running the marathon the first time REALLY HURT; I think that was part of the reason why I haven't run in a full marathon since. At some point just past the half way mark, I started telling myself not to fear it. It was going to come, but when it did, I was going to face it head on, fighting through the pain and intoxicating thoughts of stopping. Well, by the time the wall came, I was already dealing with the cramp issues and it wasn't that big of a deal. Before I knew it, I was running through the finish line and it was all over. Despite not hitting my personal goal, it was a personal best. I did not allow strong mental forces to stop me. I finished strong and felt self confidence being restored. Well, it looks like there's a marathon being run in Calgary in July...

The final kick to the finish line.








At the finish line, with my boosters, cheering me on to the finish line with a mammoth size T-bone steak!