ALL IN

There is something to be said about the game of Texas Hold'em Poker. Looking beyond its almost sickening rise to popularity just from being shown on TV so much, it is as interesting a game of psychology as it is a game of chance. We played a round of this game at our small group retreat a couple weekends ago. Most people had already retired, but the three remaining people (of which two, coincidentally, were assigned to sleep in the room with the crib that was cradling the much-too-life-like doll; I know I was trying to tire myself out so that I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow) decided to play, seeing as someone had graciously brought some nicely weighted poker chips. Aside from understanding probability, there is a lot of showmanship and feigning in this game. Much can be discovered about someone by how they go about betting on a hand. The more conservative ones tend not to bet too much when they are unsure about their hand. Acquiescence can be as telling as engagement. I guess the better poker players are the ones who, firstly, have a second nature comprehension of odds, but an even more precise understanding of human nature. Combined, the chances of winning the hand increase significantly.

One common concept in the game is "all in", when someone puts up their entire collection of chips as the bet. I remember, as a kid, watching Saturday night Chinese movies where it was all too common for someone in the movie to bet their right hand! Chop Chop!! Not as drastic here, but pretty dramatic nonetheless. As in a business venture, the more you risk, the more you stand to gain (or lose). But, it can also be intimidating to the other players. Is it a bluff? Am I willing to risk losing that many chips to find out that he's not bluffing? But if I call the bluff and am right, I can stand to gain a whole wack of chips AND eliminate a competitor! What an interesting dilemma. Anyways, it was one such "all in" moment that saw my exit from the game as my bluff was called (never could hold a straight face). One of the other players was new at the game and played his chips rather conservatively. He ended up bowing out in another 15 minutes, but I remember the agony that he was going through. When you don't have the highest amount of chips, it's so hard to make any progress unless you have a really good hand. And even if a good hand should come by, the most you can do is double your chips, which might not even put a dent to the other person's wealth. Eventually, you still lose, but the journey to defeat is one of misery and torture. It was at the point that I realized that this was a good analogy to how life can be lived out. We WILL always have the lower chip count. Inevitably, your body grows old, deteriorates, you might get sick. At the end, you WILL hand over your last chip and you're done. That applies to everyone. So, you can choose a slow, drawn out excursion. You will win your odd hand here or there, but eventually you run out of chips (read: time). Or you can go "all in", risking everything. Even if you lose, there is comfort of knowing that you took the chance, you were not scared, and you were free from being held back by wanting to hang on to your chips. In the end, it's not necessarily about winning the game (because you can't) but how you depart the table. So, that's how I want to go out: ALL IN

Of course, this doesn't mean that I will live my life recklessly. That would imply taking unnecessary chances, treating people poorly and just being completely self-centred. No, it means living with a greater purpose, asserting yourself to strive for justice, be persistent in healing and reconciliation, and being centred around others, particularly those in need. Come to think of it, Jesus was pretty good at that. He had many chances to fold His hand, but stuck with it and went ALL IN.