CAREER LIMITING MOVES

Tis the season to be merry. The weather gets nippier, malls are buzzing more than usual and neighborhoods get colourfully brighter. It is also a time of increased work-related celebration functions, making it nearly impossible to make reservations at most restaurants or finding an available cab at this time of year. It is also a time of higher occurrences of career limiting moves.

After a full day at the manager's meeting, a social function thoughtfully name The Cocktail Creation, was planned and we were personally invited by our Senior VP to attend. I arrive at the Suede Lounge in Edmonton and am ushered towards the bar, where our event is to take place. Just my luck, the Senior VP is sitting there with one of our other VP's. I plop myself in the seat on the other side of our distinguished host. Armed with stories from my recent South African adventures, I start chatting it up. At some point, he invites me to try one of the martinis. As any good employee would do around essentially the most powerful person in the business unit, I want to toast him congratulations on the spectacular year we've had. I swing my glass towards him and it is at that moment that I learn that liquid in a martini glass does not behave like liquid in a wine glass or beer pint. Before I can retract, there is gin and vermouth flying towards my Senior VP.

We are all having a great time at the Chicago Chophouse. This is after we've picked up our jaws off the floor because we notice that on page 35 of their 35 page wine list there is a $50,000 bottle of wine. But, based on the quality of the food we had that night (the only way I can describe their truffle macaroni and cheese is orgasmic), I'm not surprised to find such luxury here. Personally, I was happy that they served Hoegaarden beer as there seems to be a shortage of Belgium blonds in Calgary. By the time we got to dessert, everyone was in great spirits. I have learned that I start articulating more with my arms when I am in greater spirits. This is not good when they've placed the good wine at the other end of the table and one's manager decides to go and pick up for himself 2 full glasses of said wine. I don't remember what I was talking about or why I needed my arms to illustrate the point but, just as my manager was returning to his seat beside me, I was at the climax of my arm swinging exaggeration. The said wine never made it into my manager's mouth. Instead, it ended up all over the front of his shirt. I'm not sure who was more shocked, him or I. After gratutitous amounts of Wine Away and apologies, things got back to normal. In fact, I think he thought it was hilarious that this happened a week before he was to do my annual performance review.

Time to polish the resume.