PERSPECTIVES

[Chains Of Love playing on Archos]
Perspective is a life long exercise. You never reach absolute perspective because you can't know everything, which begs the question of why, as humans, we think that we are such good judges. I'm reminded about this as I contemplate what I've done in the past week. I went riding at Blue Mountain on Sunday, and then to Mount St. Louis on Tuesday. I still find it very therapeutic to be able to glide down the side of a mountain, sometimes at break-neck speeds on nothing more than a waxed piece of wood. It's a certain feeling of freedom or care-free-ness - I get to forget about the breakdowns in my life for a short while. Well, boo-hoo on me.
[I Think I'm In Love With You playing on Archos]
Then, it hits me like a tsunami tidal wave. Less than half way around the world, there is someone who is dying of dehydration right now, while I'm mindlessly entertaining myself in the snow. Snow that was mainly made by machines using water clean enough that it could be giving critical life somewhere else. Yet, someone RIGHT NOW is forced into making a decision to die of thirst or to drink dirty water. Or should I say, someone is choosing to die right now or to die later.

Katherine called me yesterday, rather upset. There were some initial talks about organizing a New Year's eve snowboarding trip to BM. However, an evite was sent out yesterday inviting everyone to Cathy and Kevin's. Our attempt to get lodging near BM made us aware of the absolute greed of people: $2,000 a night for a 6 person chalet! As well, the weather forecasts are saying that it's going to be well over zero, making for a very slushy and slippery terrain, not ideal for riding. Anyways, she was lambasting all of her friends for being so SELFISH, for never being organized with plans and for insensitively changing minds at the last minute. I had to control myself from laughing out loud because I think that it is rather ironic that she talks about selfishness as if this was a new human characteristic that she has just discovered, particularly in those around her and how it's cramping her styles. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with her because I tend to think that it was her selfishness that has gotten us into this mess in the first place. And yet, the death toll from the tsunami is increasing logarithmically.
[Time After Time playing on Archos]
The pain that I wrestle with is not a new wound that I sustained from this breakdown. I now realize that I've always been carrying this lesion. Perhaps it stems from the awkwardness I feel towards myself and how I've never really experienced any sense of belonging anywhere, socially, professionally or even, to some degree, familial. And perhaps I've always tried to rebel against/fight this, forcing my way into acceptance. My service to the church to the point where I was a constant (and yet sometimes taken for granted/assumed to be reliable) fixture, my dedicated work ethics which allowed me to achieve accolades, and even having successfully executed a marriage. I convinced myself that these controllable actions would eradicate this ever dependable pain, or at the very least have it buried deep enough so that it would not hurt me. Yet, all the events that are happening in my life right now seem to be peeling away each layer of denial that I've used as dressing for this grotesque injury. The pain is intense because it's like ripping off a scab when the damage hasn't healed. Maybe it's time that I start acknowledging that my life is wasted in trying to make it go away. "God is enough". Heard recently, this is not a new concept. Does peace mean living a life that is pain free and that everything is in some equalized state? Or does it mean being able to bear the pain that comes from living in a world that has fallen because of the gift of free will AND still be able to make a positive difference in someone else's life? Perspective is important.

THE SERENITY OF NIGHT RIDING

[Nobody Loves Me Like You playing on Archos]
Well, it's been awhile since my last entry. I've been updating my written journal with details about my trip to Tremblant. I guess there was a lot to write, so it's taken me awhile to finish. So, it is quite fitting that my next weblog entry is also about snowboarding. I decided to go to Blue Mountain yesterday. I was actually hesitant at first because the weather forecasts were calling for tons of wet snow and abysmal driving conditions. What convinced me was having already bought snow tires and new Teflon windshield wipers (the old blades were pretty much well gone). So, I figured that the worst that could happen was to spend the night in Barrie or Collingwood. So, I started my trek at about 2 p.m. To my great surprise, that snow and those driving conditions never came!
[I'm All Yours playing on Archos]
It is hard to compare BM to Tremblant. It is noticeably smaller, reinforced by how short the chair lift ride is. However, there were many times where I had the entire 6 person chair to myself. I cherish these times because there isn't the usual chatter, and I have a chance to enjoy the silence. Night riding is quite an interesting experience because, as you look around, much of the landscape is hidden by the darkness. The only images you see are the shadows of the chairlift cast by a spot light on a screen made up of snow capped, barren trees. But this seemed to compound the intensity of the peace of riding alone on a chair lift. Not only is no there audible noise, there is also a noticeable absence in "visual noises". I had the feeling of complete peace on these occasions, and really felt a greater closeness to the Creator, His responses being the gentle swooshes of wind caught in my helmet. It has given me a new meaning and appreciation of night riding.
[I'm Not Ashamed playing on Archos]
Mind you, there are some interesting things that you do hear while riding a chair lift. One time, I was sitting beside 2 brothers and a couple of their friends. They were all skiers. The one that was speaking couldn't have been more than 6 years old. He was relaying to his audience what he had planned for the rest of the night. He was going to do 2 more runs. Then he was going to go home and have hot chocolate. After the hot chocolate, he was going to play X-Box. After that, he was going to sleep. Oh wait, he corrected himself. After X-Box, he was going to wait for his mom to go to sleep. Then he was going to watch TV, and THEN go to sleep. My, the carefree lifestyle of a 6 year old!

BONJOUR! WELCOME TO TREMBLANT!

Written on December 3, 2004, posted on December 4, 2004
[Original Of The Species playing on Archos]

My recent trip to Tremblant was amazing! I probably could spend lots of blogging real estate describing it, but I prefer being able to recount it to people, with all of the different expressive fixings. The more I need to think of how to accurately describe my exciting experience, the more ingrained this memory will be etched. Instead, I'm going to use my schedule of meals as the basis for this blog, because it will still convey certain 'thinking check points' that occurred during this trip.
[ Crumbs From Your Table playing on Archos]
Monday:
I had a certain sense of excitement once I had unpacked and started thinking about what I was going to eat. Why is it that eating is always a hallmark of any experience? Here I was, browsing through the directory of different restaurants found in the hotel service booklet in my room, and my eyes were beginning to bulge. I felt like I was a kid in a candy store with enough money to buy whatever I wanted! Certainly, the fact that the hotel room had a kitchenette made things more interesting, because now I could even consider driving back to the grocery store that I passed on the way up and pick some things up, thereby totally cheaping out. But hey! I'm on vacation. That would be too much work! Besides, it's more meaningful to be able to cook for a group of people, but cooking for one can be quite tedious and then depressing. If I really wanted the experience of making something myself, I discovered that there was a general store within the village that I could pick up groceries from. In most circumstances, a listing of what one eats on a trip is fairly boring. Unless it is coupled with commentary about what thoughts were going on at that moment, thus creating an interesting journal.

Monday
Dinner: $25.31
from the general store
Corona 6 pack
Large bag of Ruffles All-dressed chips
2 bags of Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn

of which I consumed:
2 Coronas
The large bag of Ruffles All-dressed chips
1 bag of the microwave popcorn

Well, my initial craving was for pizza. Good old greasy pizza delivered right to your door. But I found out that they don't deliver pizza to the hotels because there are no less than 2 "pizzaterias" within the village that make gourmet pizzas. Sadly, I was disappointed because it was Monday night. There was going to be a football game on TV, and pizza would have been the best compliment. So, I decided to stroll over to the general store and see if there was anything that might resemble pizza that I could throw into the microwave (there was no oven, just a stove top with 2 elements). When I got there, it wasn't really a quick stop, because, upon inspection, all the portions were small, and everything was overpriced (e.g. $1.79 for a cup of instant noodles!). I finally resigned that I wouldn't be doing any cooking tonight. So, that is when I picked up the junk food. I don't normally drink beer by myself, but the 6 pack of Coronas looked so charming, and it was going to be something spread out over the duration of my stay. I picked up the other junk because it was within my sightlines. Obviously, nutrition wasn't the main thing that I was thinking about. Hey, I'm on vacation!

Tuesday
Breakfast: $0
From the Ermitage du Lac hotel
Continental breakfast

Can't go wrong with a free meal. And the selection wasn't too bad for a complimentary continental breakfast. I was thinking more nutrition here: grabbed some toast, some omelets, some cold cuts, lots of fruit, a juice and a banana!

Lunch: $15.43
At the Grand Manitou, mid mountain base cafeteria
Large plate of spaghetti with meat sauce
Small bag of Ruffles All-dressed chips
2 soft chocolate chip cookies
Minute Maid bottled orange juice

Once you've been riding for a few hours, you will get cold, no matter how well you dress. And there is also only one place to pee on the mountain that doesn't leave a yellow trail. And, you MUST pass by the chalet-isque cafeteria before hitting the restrooms. You are immediately drawn to the many different choices of food stuffs. It is in here that I realize that there are 3 different food economies at Tremblant. There is the pauper economy where one could totally cheap out, bring your own food and smuggle it into the resort. There is the elite economy, which is the stuff that you find in the village, like at that general store - generally a rip off, but nothing worth calling a lawyer about. And then there is the mobster economy, where you go and get absolutely robbed point blank! You also don't call a lawyer in this situation for fear of being ridiculed for allowing oneself to be so blatantly taken advantage of. But, because there are no other places to go while on the hill, you really have no choice but to get extorted. Oh well, I'm on vacation.

Dinner: $23.00
At Le Forge Bar and Grill, in the village
Poutine
Garden Salad
Hamburger (sloppy joe style, smothered in the poutine gravy with peas)

So I had heard that the poutine at Tremblant was awesome. I love going with word of mouth when exploring. After ascending the cobblestone roadway through the village, I find this place which is a smoke-filled bar and inquire about their poutine. They say it's the best, so I take a seat. In the end, it was alright. Like every other food thing that I have discovered here at the resort, the portions are small and way overpriced. Well, I was putting more hope into the burger that I had ordered that was on its way. Mmmm. Nothing like a nice, juicy burger that I could wrap both hands around and sink my teeth into some nice meat! When it arrived, it was somewhat comical! The plate, which is not an unusually large plate, absolutely dwarfed the burger that was sitting in the middle of it. The burger buns are like the McDonald's hamburger buns - they looked almost kid sized. The entire burger was covered in the same gravy that they used in the poutine, so it was not very inviting to be picked up. When I finally bit into the burger, the meat was very, well, un-meatlike. Oh well, at least I got some healthy components from the garden salad (which came in a small side bowl and had at the very most 5 leaves of lettuce). But, as I finish paying for the meal, I'm no longer shocked. I think at this point, I'm numb and just accept the fact that this is the norm while I'm on vacation.

Back in the hotel room:
Downed 1 Corona

Ah, nothing like a nice cold beer to wind the day off!

Wednesday
Breakfast: $0
From the Ermitage du Lac hotel
Continental breakfast

I start to value these meals more now. Not only because it's the only time of day where I feel like I'm NOT getting ripped off, but I can totally eat nutritiously here. Again, I do the toast with egg (boiled and cut into halves today) and cold cut thing. I also eat lots of fruit and another banana. I have coffee instead. That should give me enough energy before I start riding!

Lunch: $7.88
Back in the hotel room, after stopping off at the general store
2 Mr. Noodles instant noodle
Large bag of Ruffles BBQ chips

OK. At this point, I'm tired of getting ripped off. So I figured, let's try to exact some revenge on this system! I'm going to make my own lunch and enjoy it in my own room, where there's a nice fireplace that I can eat in front of. And boy is it a good lunch! Even though I still get ripped off by the general store (recall what the price was for one cup of the instant noodles?), it's not as bad as a rip off if I stayed on top of the mountain. I eagerly wolf down the food. Things are feeling good - my tummy is full and I'm warming up. But this is probably where the resort has anticipated my frugal attempt at circumventing their scheme. Now I feel SO comfortable that I don't want to put on my soggy snow pants and jacket. The thought of having to walk back out, take the cabriolet up, then take the gondola back into the cold is shouting in resistance and enslaving my body to the couch in front of the cozy fireplace. And it's only 12:30! That means that, even though I've paid for the full day, I would've only ridden for half a day. This thought alone awakens the frugal beast within, and I leap to my feet and back into the miserable cold. Darn you resort! There are SO many ways that they can rip you off. Plus, I left my board up on the mountain.

Dinner: $0 (kind of)
Back in the hotel room:
The remainder of the large bag of Ruffles BBQ chips
2 Coronas

Disappointed that I didn't do well for the rest of the day (which, by the way, ended shortly after returning from lunch - only did 2 more runs when I tumbled hard and banged my knees - at that point, I resigned to the fact that I was really tired from riding in really fresh power all day long) I decided to fill the bath tub and submerge myself in a warm bath. That would be perfect! I could make some coffee, put out the Chinese pastries and chocolate that I had brought and finish reading a book. How therapeutic! Well, I think I made the water too warm because after about 5 minutes, I was sweating like crazy. I started feeling really uncomfortable and finally gave up. What a waste of good, Tremblant water. Wait! Hey, chalk one up for me! I'll get my money's worth in water. Mmm. No, not very environmental, so the sense of victory is short lived. So, I resign to eating the rest of the chips that were left over from lunch, and downing 2 Coronas. Surprisingly, I'm not that hungry, and count it a small victory that I don't allow myself to get ripped off for dinner!

Thursday:
Breakfast: $0
From the Ermitage du Lac hotel
Continental breakfast

It's starting to get too predictable. Toast. Egg (boiled and halved again). Cold cuts. Fruit. The only variation is that I substitute a croissant for the banana. Oh well, it's the last one, so it's not too bad. I don't eat that much more considering my stomach is probably pretty empty from not having dinner the night before.

Lunch: $5.55
At the Grand Manitou, mid mountain base cafeteria
Large hot chocolate
Snickers candy bar

Originally, my plan was to ride the entire day without stopping. But the "I'm wet and need to pee" monster reared its ugly at around 1. So, reluctantly, I stop. I thought I could just relieve myself and avoid the cafeteria. But the desire to warm up some of my partially frozen appendages prompted me to stop. Well, why not? Just for old times sake, let's get ripped off one last time. At least there is something sentimental about this last stint. I'm still on vacation.

Well, the moral of the story is to anticipate food costs when budgeting for a vacation. Otherwise, getting ripped off can really put a damper on things quick, especially in a place like Tremblant. Fortunately, this wasn't the case for me, and I anticipated this, and I must say it is a unique experience considering I am pretty frugal when it comes to the basic human function of eating. Remember, at Tremblant, "Bonjour" means "Hi! Welcome to Tremblant. I'm going to rip you off today!"

Or, perhaps, it's because I'm Asian! (click here for a really funny stand up bit explaining this!)

THE TOTEMIZATION OF JESUS

(link to audio sermon) - for November 29, 2004 but posted on December 4, 2004
[Yahweh playing on Archos]
Because I was a little late getting to church, I ended up sitting near the front. Particularly in a movie theathre this isn’t always the most desirable. But one actually doesn’t realize what a different perspective that one misses when up that close. Certainly, when just strictly there to watch a movie, one does have to crank their neck in order to see the centre of the screen, and I had to do some of that today for the message. However, the other the experience of the other elements was quite cool being that up close. Here are some things that I noticed:

- I could feel the kick drum, an experience that can only happen when one is within 20 feet of the bass drum; otherwise, you get the artificial thud reproduction of it through the sub, speaking of which..
- I got to see where the subwoofer was placed; not a very big one but placed very discretely at the foot of the stage; generally the incline of the auditorium seats hides this box from most view
- The electric guitar today was playing a Gibson (I could only have guess if I was sitting where I normally sit) and he was pumping it through quite a nice Mesa/Boogie head/cabinet setup; again, being able to here the sound directly from the cabinet is much more gratifying than hearing it muddied in the mix through the mains
- During one song, the drummer was using an egg shaker; he didn’t have any overheads over his kit, so I totally would have missed that if I was sitting back
- It’s very loud sitting this close, which forces one to sing louder; I’ve always had a more uplifting experience whenever I could just belt out my singing; of course, when you’re sitting further back, loud bellowing would just stick out or be met with a lot of strange, disapproving looks – so that was definitely cool to be able to sing that intensely

Yes, my neck is a little sore from having to turn my head to see the screen properly for the message, but this wasn’t an issue during the worship, as we were standing up. Yes, I’m probably very geeky for being excited over such things, but it’s more of having this different perspective, which absolutely enhanced my worship today. Which was a really good sermon today (not heart stabbing like last week’s, but definitely very meaningful). At some point, I’ll link this blog to the sermon.