THE SNOW IS HERE, AFTER A 20 DEGREE WEEK!

A WEEK OFF AND HELLO TO CFA...
One of the beauties of shift rotation is that, sometimes, you get lots of time off. I just finished a whole week off, costing me not a single day of personal leave or vacation - sweet! It was good timing as I finalized some details before my move next week. It also gave me a chance to see how I would react to an extended period of non-structured schedule. So, it's an exercise of mental discipline to be productive on these days off. I can picture myself snowboarding endlessly in the nearby mountains, but I know that eventually it would be too costly. I've always been a firm believer of life long learning, whether it is formal or informal. I've decided to start studying for the CFA part I exam in June. The material is relevant to my finance-centred work environment. And because it is self-study in nature, it is very ideal for my oft unpredictable work schedule. So, the text books arrived this week, just in time for me to get into the routine of becoming familiar with the local library.

THE PURSUIT OF PURPOSE...
We often convince ourselves that realizing "God's Plan" is when we find ourselves in a state of happiness, which can measured in different ways: a certain degree of financial security, relational or familial stability, academic or vocational achievements, etc. It's like being able to cross off items on a checklist, and those that are thin in the blessings inventory have yet to discover the Plan, as if it was some proven retirement formula. But is it a guarantee that, if you commit to pursuing this Plan, you will eventually reach it? A prescription of scheduled prayer, a dose of Our Daily Bread and consistent tithing to be followed religiously? If you die before reaching 'it', have you failed by not trying hard enough, been an unknowing victim of a blessings embargo or, worse yet, been going down the wrong path? Listening to another 2 great sermons by Bruxy served as a good reminder that God's hope, all along, was to be in intimate contact with us. But because of how we've abused the freedom that comes with free choice, we have rejected Him; creatures made perfect that are now blemished by selfishness and judgmental tendencies. As a result, death, pain, loneliness and suffering now exist, which we then try to pin the blame on God and which has resulted in volumes of philosophical and theological commentary. Thus, the system needs to be rebooted, in a Matrix kind of way. Or more like it has to be redeemed/revitalized. But instead of focusing on the redemption voucher which is already available, we torture ourselves with discovering "God's will". In spite of the many signs pointing to the Father's desire (and our partnership) to heal the world, we find ourselves hoping that we will receive affirmation for a life of comfort, material luxury, false securities in relationships that are, by nature, broken, which then is all coined as blessings. Worse yet, in the pursuit of this will, other things get trampled: the environment (His creation that we were created to steward), other people (His creation that we were created to be in community with). Bruxy's last message of the "A Questioning God" series sums it best: in solving any problem (which God could do effortlessly without our incompetent assistance), He will always desire to do so in partnership with us. We just have to take the first step in laying down the "staff" that we are holding, where staff may represent financial means, status, and security, as it did for Moses. Take a listen: series = A Questioning God, title = What is that in your hands? So, what I think is needed is a recalibration of what it is that is being pursued; I really like Bruxy's story about his hampster, Snowball.

JENNY AND JOANNA AT THE SUMO LOUNGE...
I met up with another friend who was visiting Calgary. Joanna's a dentist living in San Francisco who's here visiting Jenny, another native Calgarian who has been helping me settle here. Both are people that I met during our frosh year at Queen's. We were nostalgic about how Queen's was so long ago, but it's amazing how so many of us 97's have remained close. We went for sushi at the Sumo Lounge. The fact that I've been craving sushi made this lunch meal that much more delicious! Sumo has an all-you-can-eat option where you sit around a circular bar where pieces are delivered on metal boats that are drawn conveyor belt style in a make shift moat. Kinda cool, though the 3 of us opted for the a la carte lunch instead.

THIS IS WHAT WE ARE ABOUT:

We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.

This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the workers.
We are workers, not master builders, ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.

Archbishop Oscar Romero

Someone else who has an abnormal ECG: Jiri Fischer.

I'VE BEEN IN CALGARY FOR ONE MONTH NOW!

ALMOST-REALITY TV...
They sure do show a lot of ping pong on TV in Calgary. They also show a lot of Flames games, which makes me miss the Leafs a lot. AND, it still amuses me to see an ongoing soap opera appear religiously on a sports channel, but something from Smackdown caught my attention: The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels was paying a tribute to Eddie Guerrero who passed away recently. He spoke nothing of EG's wrestling accomplishments or skills. Instead, he talked about EG's faith, professing that both he and Eddie were born - again Christians! He was looking forward to being able to wrestle with Eddie one day in eternity, before an audience of One, that being "Jesus Christ, King of kings and Lord of lords!" Wouldn't this be an interesting topic of debate: Christians in wrestling, playing the roles of heroes and heels. Broader yet, Christians in the entertainment business. Christian artists or artists who happen to be Christian.

DANGEROUS PLACES, THOSE CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORES....
I always seem to leave one of these places with a new CD. I recently purchased the new Switchfoot CD (which has my current favorite song: The Shadows Prove The Sunshine). Shortly after the purchase, I found myself disappointed that the CD had a built-in security schema that would launch its own music player every time you put it in your computer. This prevents the owner of the CD from making digital copies, so, I found myself unable to listen to the songs on my portable player. To get around this, I played the CD real time into the player and encoded it into MP3 there. It's a hassle because I have to sit there, ensure the levels are good, and split each track as it ends. I also have to input the file information (album name, artist name, song name) afterwards. Well, it turns out that this CD is one of those that inadvertently makes your computer vulnerable and has been a major source of grief for Sony which has faced class action from around the world and has now committed to stopping the production of these CD's, removal of these CD's from retailers and the exchanging of "secure" CD's for non-secure ones to those who have already purchased them. In the meantime, I recall that I've played this CD on both my laptop and desktop, so I'll have to figure out how to fix the vulnerability. Man! One tries to do something good and...

ANOTHER TORONTO VISITOR COMING...
This time, it is a person who has been my mentor and was the former manager who hired me at the music store. He has since moved on to a natural drug company where he is the Canadian general manager. He also attends the Meeting House and is a home church leader in Brampton. I've always admired him because of his business acumen, business ethics and dedication to ministry. He has demonstrated to me that you can be successful in business AND make a difference socially. He introduced me to the idea of living on 10% and tithing 90%.

ADVENTURES IN IKEA...
I woke up one morning, hearing a child ask the question "What is an Ektorp?" A man with a heavy Swedish accent responded, but I forget what he said. Somehow, this smart radio ad from IKEA that played as my alarm went off stuck in my subconscious. There was a sofa sale at IKEA! Since a couch is not on the list of items being shipped to me from Toronto, I've been envisioning a bare living area in the condo that I'm moving into at the end of the month (a minimalist approach that might not work for the long term). So, I decided to go to IKEA to check it out (my subconscious was telling me that this sale had something to do with buy-one-get-one-half-off and that the sale was ending soon - an innate Asian tendency that allows me to shelve these important details!) It was 14C today in Calgary and I discovered that there was an IKEA just 13.5 km away. That was a no brainer! I decided to strap on my blades and go for a nice ride, assuming that the trusty Bow River Pathway would take me to where I wanted to go. Well, it turns out that 13.5 km represented the most direct route. After snaking around the Bow River and safely crossing major highways, it felt like I had bladed more like 25 km! I felt bad about trying out the sofa because my back was just dripping with sweat - don't ask for the floor model if you're ever in the Calgary IKEA!! Well, after doing another marathon through the humungous store just to get to the self serve furniture section, I picked up (literally, because I had to load them onto the carts myself) an Ektorp sofa and an Ektorp armchair. Sure enough, it was buy-one-get-one-half off. It will be delivered at about the same time that I move in. And how does one fuel himself after such a grueling workout? TWO FIDDY-CENT IKEA HOTDOGS!

HOMECOMING...
I'm going to tack on an extra week off at the end of January, as I return for the roadtrip to Jay Peak. It'll be nice to see family and friends again!

A VISITOR FROM TORONTO!

I had the pleasure of sharing dinner with one of my former Ontario colleagues who was in town for a course. Due to a last minute meeting, he wasn't able to join me and my other co-workers for a final "fire bum soup" lunch (Pho) before I left Toronto, so I'm glad I got to hook up with him. We decided to go to Joey Tomato, an eatery in the trendy Eau Claire Market, near the hotel where he was staying. The food wasn't too bad, but I strongly suspect that this restaurant has an unspoken hiring rule for its hostesses and servers. Let's just say that if you didn't fit into a size 0 and wore lots of make up, you were awkwardly out of place!

FEEDING
Speaking of "fire bum soup", I've been going to a Pho place just around the corner from where I'm staying. It's called a Touch of Ginger and they serve Vietnamese and Thai food. The quality is alright and the prices are what you would expect. But, they leave you alone and it's a clean place. Usually, I'll bring a newspaper in with me, but I've found it difficult to read and eat noodle soup at the same time (the newspaper gets all wet!). So, for my most recent visit I decided to try something different. I downloaded a sermon from The Meeting House, one from their current series. I had a really good experience eating my noodles and listening to Bruxy! I've realized how much I miss The Meeting House and it's simple, yet profound, message of relationship: God's relationship with us, our relationship with others. It's sad and humbling to realize that our affinity/nature to judge others actually gets in the way of community. I found the message just filled with so many gems: why Tom Hanks creating a companion out of a volleyball is so reflective of how we were created (ala Life of Pi), why God chose to put Adam in a garden of all places (we were created to be creative creatures), what does "the knowledge of good and evil" really mean (and why we make lousy judges), why did Adam come out of hiding when God asked where he was, the real answer to "where are you God?" in our time of trials. The series is A Questioning God and this week was "Where Are You?" Can't wait 'til my next bowl of Pho and message from Bruxy!

WORK'S BEEN GOING GOOD
I just finished a week of "relief", which basically meant that I was working with another trader on the same rotation. Starting next week, I'll be on my own. Looking back (and it's only been 3 weeks), a lot of terms and ideas are making sense now. I've discovered that for even some of the seasoned traders, they will sometimes refer to their notes on how something is done, especially if they've come off an extended period of time off. I'm also starting to see how there are opportunities to grow by learning about trading in other geographical areas (the Pacific Northwest, Ontario), the scheduling of trades, and ancillary services (which are call options sold to the power system operator to help smooth out the system). I've also decided to start studying for the CFA, as a number of my colleagues are working on this and find it helpful in this job. The next level I exam that I'm aiming for is June 2006.

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, ELLA!

Having just completed 3 night rotations, I 'napped' for a few hours before heading off for a birthday party - Ella Tang was celebrating her first birthday! The theme of the party was jungle, so it was great seeing some of the kids dressed up as different animals! Joyce and Pete did a great job decorating their home and serving theme food. I also met some people who are avid snowboarders and hikers. We went to church afterwards where the worship team was really groovin' tonight! Every song has a West coast flavour! There's also a nice layer of snow that covers most of the sidewalks now. Winter is here...

Night rotations haven't been as bad as I thought they would be. It seems that my body is fairly adaptable, being able to sleep well even in the daytime. I'm still only getting 5 hours of sleep but it seems to be enough as I'm able to make it through the night fine. There's enough to do to keep my mind stimulated. The first night was a little stressful because I barely got one of the reports done on time prior to the morning meeting, which relies on data found in the report. The second night was a little better. I still get frustrated at times because I still don't know where everything is located or what the best approach to certain procedures is. It's slowly coming and I am getting some positive feedback from my peers. Thoughts of getting fired haven't been as frequent!

CHURCH AT THE EPIC
I went to The Epic church tonight, for their Sunday evening service that they have affectionately called Con.verge. They clothed a beautiful, downtown united church (a combination of beech and oak hardwood planks forms a cross on the floor) with sound equipment obviously meant for a larger venue. A projection screen has an eclectic mix of nature shots fading in and out. The worship starts as the song leader taps his laptop located on the second tier of a keyboard stand that also holds an Alesis mixer and, get this, a turntable! A drum track starts and he kicks into the first song with his Takemine guitar. A bass guitar comes in, as well as another keyboardist, a couple of back up singers and a hand drummer. The hand drummer, whose hair was a couple hues brighter than the orange coloured shirt that he was wearing, abandons his hand drums to start dancing. I seem to recall that he was doing some breakdancing: a little bit of moonwalking, a little bit of waving. Someone off to the side starts waving a white banner, while 2 younger dudes decide to complete their worship lying on the floor, singing right up to the rafters. I recognize most of the songs and we repeat the songs MANY TIMES. This is good because a reflective mood is created. The drum track wasn't too distracting as the team was pretty tight to it. I was wondering how the song leader was going to incorporate the turntable (given that he was singing, tapping his laptop and playing guitar at the same time). Turns out, he only used the turntable when we prayed, providing some trance background beats. There was no sermon tonight, just one of the elders sharing about his recent trip to Nepal. The service also started about 1/2 hour later than what was posted on their website. I didn't hang around afterwards to find out if they went on their weekly sandwich run, which was also posted on their website. I'll go again next week to see how things are.

ENTITLEMENT IN ITUNES
I've recently purchased some music through iTunes (they have quite a collection of Christian music). I don't own an iPod and am restricted to listening to these songs through the Apple music program iTunes. However, I enjoy listening to music on the go, especially when I'm running. Therefore, I need to convert the music file from its Apple proprietary format to something recognizable by my portable player. Apple doesn't make this easy which means I usually burn the files to an audio CD, and then re-import them back using Windows Media Player (but I have to re-type the file information, like song title and artist). An initiative called HYMN (Hear Your Music aNywhere) started up specifically to make this process easier by decrypting the Apple algorithm to allow for easy conversion. Well, Apple recently updated to iTunes version 6 (inherently, it forces users to upgrade to this version) which circumvents Hymn's crack. Reading through the Hymn forum reveals a lot of anger towards Apple for doing this. Some of the more vocal writers are demanding that Hymn update their "crack" in order to counter-circumvent Apple. It seems that a lot of people are upset that the 99 cents that they paid for a "legitimate" copy of a song should entitle them to unlimited free use of it. People are threatening to go back to pirating songs. While I am slightly annoyed by this inconvenience (I currently don't have access to a burner so I'm only able to listen to these songs on my laptop), I am even more annoyed by the general feeling of entitlement towards the use of these song files. "Culture of entitlement" seems to be a popular catch-phrase right now, particularly in describing the current federal government (or its predecessor). As people are slamming the Liberals for their corruption, this feeling of entitlement is not limited to those in politics, as proven by the current reaction by some towards Apple iTunes v.6 iTunes wasn't created to make my life better. Sure, it is an alternative to music piracy, but this option to appease guilt and "do-what-is-right" is merely a marketing ploy, a good one at that. iTunes was created for the purpose of selling iPods (iTunes currently offers downloadable videos and TV shows, just in time to be downloaded into the new Apple video iPods), not rescue the music industry from illegal downloads. Too easily, people confuse intelligent marketing with right infringement. Like when Blogger, a free weblog servce, erases a post (purpose of Blogger? increase internet traffic to specific destinations so that Google can make more money selling ads). Like when people complain that Weebo doesn't offer emoticons or voice chat capability (Weebo is a free IM program we use at work because it is web-based, bypassing our corporate IT's policies of not having local IM clients, like ICQ or MSN, installed on the servers).

CAN'T BELIEVE I'M UP

Well, I'm trying to stay up as late as I can so that I can sleep during the day, in preparation of my first night rotation, starting at 7 p.m. later on tonight. A combination of stand up comedy, granola bars, push-ups and blogging seems to be doing the trick!

It was another crazy day in the office as electricity prices in Alberta continue to soar. Our group made close to half a million dollars today in 2 hours, just because we had position that benefitted from these prices. Pretty crazy.

MORE REFLECTIONS AND PURGING

Well, another week has passed and it really feels like I've been here for much longer than 2 weeks. In order for our business unit to hit its bonus target, it must fulfill certain safety requirements. This can be measured in the number of hours lost due to accidents or injuries. However, for a group who spends most of its time inside an office, there needs to be a different metric, namely making sure that there are a proportional number of employees who have basic first aid training. Being the newest peon to join the group, I was elected to attend two days worth of first aid training. From this course, I'm reminded of how fragile the human body is and how easy it is for life threatening injuries to happen. I don't know if it's because I haven't been around the topic recently, but I found the constant discussion of trauma and the viewing of graphic videos (for the purpose of learning how to react WHEN these traumatic things happen) very unsettling. This is odd considering I come from a life sciences background and one of my favorite places at Queen's was 9th floor Botterell (the cadaver lab). Particularly on the topic of amputations, I found myself so grossed out that I couldn't even hold my pen. I guess the thought of losing a finger or another extremity freaks me out. Other topics were better, espcially the ones that I can relate to. We talked about concussions and I immediately thought back to the 2 that I had when I was younger, one when I slammed my head on the gym floor after diving for a volleyball and the other when I slammed my head against the ground while playing in the annual MCBC Tackle Football match. I remember the time I ended up in the hospital because I took a shuttlecock in the eye and how both of my eyes were patched up (to protect the injured eye, which, by the way, is now NOT the prescribed remedy). We also talked about heat cramps, which is something that I realized (as a result of another discussion) had happened to me very recently.

Canadian International Marathon 2005
Memories of nearly drowning in Lake Ontario are still fresh on my mind. Aside from this, the disappointment of not finishing the triathlon in July still stings. Thus, running in the Canadian International Marathon had multiple purposes. I haven't run a full marathon since 1996, after returning from a summer of tree planting and somehow acquiring a Kamikaze mentality that I could conquer any physical challenge. That first attempt took me almost 4.5 hours and I remember not being able to walk properly for more than a week. I felt that it was time for me to revisit this challenge. I've trained pretty intensely since returning from New Zealand, focusing on a regiment that included interval training, hills and long runs that exceeded 21 km. I felt that I was mentally prepared for this, and in many ways, I felt like I needed to use this event to help heal the scars from the attempted triathlon. I set a personal goal of 3.5 hours (which is still 20 minutes slower than a Boston Marathon qualification!). I felt like I could achieve it. Sunday October 12 actually started at C&J's condo where I parked prior to the start of the race. I was able to use their gym to stretch and warm up, which was a real blessing, because that morning was dreary and threatened rain. Being just a couple of blocks away from the start line, I got to the line 5 minutes before the start. Unlike other races that I've been in, I didn't have to wait the typical "walk-because-it's-so-crowded" delay before breaking into a decent tempo. I made it to the half way point feeling pretty good: I finished 21 km in 1:45, right on track to hit my goal. The route took me to the famous Casa Loma, where I recalled the first time that I had met Clinton, as both of us ended up there waiting while Wendy and Nap took their wedding pictures there with the bridal party. While being nostalgic, it hit me: my first cramp. It was a stomach one, the famous "stitch". I adjusted my breathing to help get rid of it, but then I started noticing my quads acting up. When I hit the 29 km mark, they just locked up, on both sides of the body, along with my calves. I just about keeled over when it happened, almost taking out another running who was beside me. I have never felt a cramp so intense before! I felt frustration more than pained as, no matter how hard I tried rubbing the muscles, they just wouldn't unlock! I was completely immobilized. A course marshal rode over on her bike and offered me Motrin. Eventually, I was able to hobble a bit, then walk a bit, then break out into a slow jog. Anything faster would cause my legs to "lock up" again. Thus, I finished the rest of this race at this pace, crossing the finish line at 4:08.

Interestingly enough, the one soothing mantra I kept throughout the race was "DON'T FEAR THE WALL". The "wall" is the point during a full marathon where the runner becomes hypoglycemic and the increasing build up of lactic acid in the muscles make your legs feel like bricks. The pain is unbearable and your body begs you to stop. It's a major mental exercise because once you stop, you find so many ways to convince yourself not to start again. I foolishly thought that tree-planting (having to rough it in back country for 2 months, doing hard piece work labour) was tough, but running the marathon the first time REALLY HURT; I think that was part of the reason why I haven't run in a full marathon since. At some point just past the half way mark, I started telling myself not to fear it. It was going to come, but when it did, I was going to face it head on, fighting through the pain and intoxicating thoughts of stopping. Well, by the time the wall came, I was already dealing with the cramp issues and it wasn't that big of a deal. Before I knew it, I was running through the finish line and it was all over. Despite not hitting my personal goal, it was a personal best. I did not allow strong mental forces to stop me. I finished strong and felt self confidence being restored. Well, it looks like there's a marathon being run in Calgary in July...

The final kick to the finish line.








At the finish line, with my boosters, cheering me on to the finish line with a mammoth size T-bone steak!

WHAT A DAY!

Of course, the energy market in Alberta decides to behave wonky on the day I take on my first 12 hour day-time rotation. Because certain generating plants were down, the price of electricity in the province became very volatile. Whenever price hits $1,000 per megawatt, things in the office become a little crazy, because one of our goals is to ensure that our own power plants don't pay that much for electricity. At the same time, we are also managing energy positions that include excess energy. For these, we would ideally like to sell them back to the market at higher prices. So, you can see that there are conflicting interests which requires different analysis and strategies. Of course, me being the newbie is just overwhelmed by the time we're 1/2 hour into the day (which is at 7:30 a.m.) I don't know where all the files are that I need to access and it seems like I'm tripping over all the processes that seem so second nature to others. I think the Director sensed this and made it a point to come over and make sure that I was asking for clarification before doing something haphazardly. Yup, not a lot of love going around when the place is buzzin'! Oh well, chalk that up to experience because I get to do this all over again tomorrow!